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Confidence comes from 4 things: being relaxed, being prepared, your thoughts and actions.

Relax

We are all confident around our close friends and family, because we are relaxed, so taking the time to de-stress yourself, or relax your mind and body before any anxiety-provoking event is essential.

You need your mind and body need to recognise when it is holding tension and how to let go of it, once you know this and have practiced relaxation, you will know how to sense it and create it.

Prepare

Preparing for situations is another key to being confident, making sure you have an idea, what you will say or do, if you are performing or presenting make sure you know your material, so that you could perform it with any distraction. If it’s a social situation that worries you, have an idea of topics you’d talk about, maybe have a story about something that happened that day, or on your journey there to break the ice.

Good quality thoughts

Thoughts are our guidance, so thinking is the most important factor, so it’s paramount you have good quality thoughts, going into a situation thinking ‘oh no this is going to be awful, I won’t know what to say, what if I can’t speak’ is NOT going to help.
Make sure your thoughts are positive, think (even though you might not believe it) I am confident, I have got this, I know what I’m going to say and if anything crops up I will deal with this, and say it with emotion.

We program our minds by statements and fantasies/movies we play in our mind, if you imagine the worst scenario then that’s what you are programming your mind and body for. Start programming your mind for success by imaging yourself being confident in every situation, take a few minutes every day to daydream about the confident you, or if you have an event or performance, imagine it going well, you being confident and doing it perfectly, imagine from a viewer and from your own point of view.

Do you know that mental practice is as effective as actual practice? so start your mental practice today and imagine the new confident you.

Act

Your mind and body are in constant communication, if your mind recognises the body doing something it will back it up, therefore if you stand up straight take a deep breath in the mind suddenly catches on, as if to say ok somethings happening, get ready.

Change your physiology, stand walk and talk like you have confidence, take a deep breath puff out your chest stand tall, talk slowly and clearly, make eye contact.

If you would like a session to manifest confidence rapidly, book a chat for for more information.

Food phobia or Selective eating disorder(SED) or Avoidant/Restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) treatment

Food phobia or Selective eating disorder(SED) or Avoidant/Restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) is a very common problem, I have treated hundreds on clients in the past year and eating disorders seem to be on the rise.

Selective eating disorder is actually recognised as a valid disorder and is now listed in the 5th addition of the Diagnostic and statistic manual of mental disorders (DSM-5) Which your GP would refer to.

Fussy eaters report an inability to eat or swallow certain foods, sometimes whole food groups can be avoided, like sauces, or veg, some are avoided based on texture or colour.

Most sufferers experience anxiety towards the avoided food groups, for fear of gaging, being sick or even not being able to get rid of the taste.

Most fussy eaters maintain a healthy weight, although in severe cases sufferers lose vast amounts of weight, some sufferers of selective eating disorder have nutrition deficiency and can have a low immune system.

Children tend to stick to familiar foods chicken and chips.

Treatment:

The good news is that Food phobias or Selective eating disorders are fairly easy to remedy.

The most successful treatment for Selective eating disorders are systematic desensitisation mixed with hypnotherapy.

The key is to take small manageable steps, to introduce the problem food/foods into the diet:

If the problem food is broccoli

The first step maybe to have broccoli on a plate next to the plate you’re eating from, step 2 would be to have it on the side of the plate, step 3 maybe to have it touching the food, step 4 mash a tiny piece of broccoli into some other food, you would continue these steps, constantly moving forward until there were no issues.

In the case selective eating disorder in children, rewarding them for the successful completion of each step.

Relaxation is vital in children and adults, to reduce the level of anxiety involved, hypnotherapy to relax and lower or remove the gag reflex and feelings of anxiety and sickness.

I have worked with clients with a whole host of food phobias, including foods with skin on, fear of beans, sauces, vegetables.

After just one session clients leave feeling relaxed and motivated to start the process, feeling in control, they go on to try a variety of new foods, some are completely cured after one session, some start trying new foods, progress can be rapid or slow and steady.

Click here if you’d like to book a free chat

Today I saw a gentleman diagnosed by his Doctor as suffering with stress, depression and anxiety. He suffered crippling pain, headaches, stomach aches, and pain all over his body, with no physiological problems, it had been put down as a psychosomatic issue.

Therefore his pain was caused by his mental state and let me tell you he was in a state. I asked him what he wanted and he proceeded to tell me what he didn’t want. I corrected him and asked him what he did want, he said to be happy, I asked him what happiness looked like and he told me what happiness didn’t look like. This told me that part of the problem was his quality of thoughts.

He described a black whole filled with pain and desperation, he had lost all control of his thoughts, it was although a black cloud was following him and everything was dark. He said it’s as though he was in a cold bath and the power had gone out. He spent every minute sat in darkness, he didn’t watch TV or do anything other than stare at the floor.

Depression is usually caused by the fact we aren’t living the life we imagined, his expectation and reality were not aligned. Sometimes life doesn’t go the way we hoped, If we then start to run the pity program of “why me’ or “this kind of stuff always happens to me” or “It’s just my luck” we are on a downward spiral of doom and gloom. Guess what doom and gloom brings, more ‘bad luck’

I see people every day moaning about the world and wondering why all the bad stuff happens to them. I’m familiar with it because that used to be me.

A few things needed to change with this client. He needed a huge kick up the metaphorical bum:

Attitude

His attitude needed a revamp, I said if you leave here and miss your bus I bet you’ll think ‘that’s just my luck’ ‘why me?’ ‘Nothing goes right for me’ he laughed. So we used humour to challenge  those thoughts I made him laugh and we hard rewired his attitude (using hypnosis) So now every time he tries to attend the pity party he gets rerouted to the laughter party instead.

Focus

His focus was internal, he was constantly scanning for pain or shortness of breath to signify a panic attack, so I rerouted his focus using hypnosis, he now focusses on the beauty in everything he sees, even the beauty of a leaf. You see depression cannot reside at the same time as joy. So the more joy he sees around him the less he can feel depression.

Goals

We also discussed his future, where he hoped he might be. I had to challenge some negative belief patterns he was running about his academic ability. After he agreed he can learn, (as we all can at a different rate) he decided he wanted to study. So one easy manageable step was for him to research what was needed to start a course. I didn’t send him out there to go take a course, (as that would trigger his anxiety) just to find out what was needed.

With these steps taken my client will start to feel more joy this week, he will start thinking about his future, connect again with his dreams and ambitions, start to see the world as a brighter happier place. This is just week one, imagine what changes we will make in week two!

Click here to book a chat

“As confidence goes up, so does your income“

Dr Richard Petty – Ohio State University

Confidence coaching and hypnotherapy does exactly what it says on the tin, It will assist you in building unstoppable confidence.

Confidence

One of the biggest hurdles I see in my business coaching clients is a lack of confidence, whether your an entrepreneur or an established executive its a major ingredient.

• Confidence to lead a team.
• Confidence to network.
• Confidence to pitch.
• Confident enough to speak in front of an audience.
• Confidence to ask for promotion or a pay rise.
• Confidence to handle conflict.
• Confidence to change your career path.Often people think of confidence as something that you’re born with, this is not the case. It’s the outcome of the thoughts we think and the actions we take. It is not based on your actual ability to succeed at a task, but your belief in your ability to succeed.

Quality of Thoughts and beliefs:

To be able to achieve something you have to believe that you can.

So what is a belief?
A belief is a thought that we have consistently. If you have tried public speaking even on a small scale and it wasn’t comfortable, you have the thought ‘I’m not good at this.’ You may if you’re persistent try it again, if you don’t have success, you form the belief ‘I can’t give a presentation, I don’t have the confidence.’ Once the thought is manifested as a belief then it’s put away in the I can’t file. Never to be discussed or challenged again. Why? Because you can’t.

Start to monitor your thoughts and language, thoughts that we have consistently become our beliefs.

So what are your thoughts about yourself? Do you have areas where you are confident and areas of lack?

Ask yourself why? Keep asking yourself why.

i.e. “I can’t go to networking events” Why? “Because I would feel nervous” Why? “I couldn’t approach people” Why? “I wouldn’t know what to say”

Then look to solve the problem. Take yourself from limitation to productivity.

How do we deal with negative thoughts?

Thoughts are in charge of everything that happens in our lives, so much more than you would imagine, they control our achievements or failures, happiness or sadness, limitations or abilities.

If I could teach you one lesson here, it would be that gaining absolute control of all your thoughts would make you one of the elite. We are affected by everything we hear, see, experience and watch.

Some things we don’t even attempt to do, because for some reason we don’t believe we can, so we don’t even try.

Step 1… Delete

Stop negative internal (what you tell yourself) and external (what you tell others or they say about you) dialogue. It isn’t easy at first it’s like quitting a bad habit, it will take effort.

Firstly change the way you talk to yourself and to others, for some of my clients they love to tell people about their anxiety, “I suffer with social anxiety” every time you tell yourself this you further manifest that statement as a belief. So it’s time to DELETE those negative statements and thoughts.

I would like you to write a list of at least 5 negative statements you tell yourself or others for instance:

I hate meetings, I get so nervous.
When I pitch I am always worried I’ll get asked an awkward question. My view won’t be taken seriously.
My mouth goes dry and I panic.
I trip over my words when I get flustered.

Step 2 … Replace

Then replace the negative dialogue with a positive statement about that visit/event/situation/ place/person (stimulus), write it down.

Really think about your outcome, what do you want from this ‘event’ Set your OUTCOME and build every thought around that. Be determined that you are going to achieve your outcome.

I am going to get/give as much information as I can at the meeting.
Each time I pitch I’m going to be so well prepared the I will be confident answering every question.
I’m going to do my research and make sure my view is taken seriously.
I am going to be so focussed on giving value I won’t notice anything else.
I am going to remain calm and consider each point carefully, so I can respond eloquently.

This is your new dialogue, it will feel silly at first but with every statement you tell yourself good or bad, your body starts to believe it and will act accordingly.
It’s no good me telling you one thing and you telling yourself something else!!

This exercise needs to be repeated daily, set an alarm on your phone as a reminder to yourself to repeat your positive statements each day. First thing on a morning and last thing at night are the best times, as we are most suggestible.

Step 3 Imagine

Before we do anything we visualise it first, kind of like a rehearsal for the brain. In your head you’ve probably rehearsed the worst possible outcome for a very long time. What you’ve been doing is hypnotising yourself to believe the worst possible outcome, even though you know it may be irrational.

Now it’s time to rehearse a great outcome, always do this when relaxed, maybe first thing on a morning or last thing at night. So the pitch scenario, you may imagine yourself confidently delivering your pitch, run through that movie in your head, smiling, being informative, answering questions. Sometimes you may get an intrusive thought, if you do, say DELETE and start again, until you’ve successfully completed your pitch. Repeat this every day and if ever you slip into old habits just say stop and correct it with a positive image.

Step 4 Preparation and practice

Confidence is being calm and prepared, so Prepare for every eventuality. FEAR = Face Everything And Recover

Put a list together of all the situations you wan’t to feel more confident in.
Start to tackle your list! If you have purchased my downloadable hypnotherapy session. Now is the time to listen, it will give you the boost you need to make you feel strong enough to face that challenge.

Tell yourself I am in control now, I am in control of my thoughts and behaviours.
Start small, moving in small manageable steps, if you want to feel more confident recording videos:

• Prepare and practice what you want to say.
• Practice in front of mirror or family.
• Record yourself giving your speech, just so you can watch it.Test yourself as soon as you can, do not wait until you feel better, or feel like it, that’s not going to happen without first doing it. The more you practice, the easier it becomes FACT!

Step 5 Physiology

Confidence not only comes from your quality of thoughts and your mindset but also from your physiology. How does a confident person stand? How do they speak? how do they walk? Start thinking about how your body needs to say confidence.

Stand/sit tall.
Head up.
Breath deeply.
Walk tall.
Speak clearly .
Pause, if you need to think. Smile.

Aim to make others feel comfortable. Engage with those around you.

Get yourself in a peak state, really fire yourself up, do you have a music track that puts you in a peak state? Rocky soundtrack? Play your soundtrack, give yourself a pep talk, if your driving to your ‘event’ shout at yourself I am going to smash this, I am going to be amazing

Step 6 Coping mechanisms

As you do with a child that is about to have an injection etc., you don’t constantly tell a child, “You’re going to have an injection now and its going to hurt, you may go dizzy, you could even pass out, oh my goodness what are you going to do?” imagine what state the child would be in! So don’t do it to yourself!

Instead before/during the stimulus, close your eyes and imagine your favourite, relaxing place, notice it in great detail, relax your breathing, make sure you create a calmness within you before the ‘event’

Repeat your outcome to yourself before the event, this is programming your subconscious mind for the result you want.

Now time for the magic touch!

Want instant confidence?

Krystyna’s hypnotherapy download has successfully helped thousands of people gain confidence.

Make permanent positive changes to your life Download the hypnotherapy session today!

If you are interested in improving your life in other areas Visit the shop today.

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Testimonials

“I met Krystyna for help with a few issues I have with confidence and assertiveness, Krystyna is lovely and the session went really well, I left feeling great and on a high. Im now feeling very excited and CONFIDENT to face my daily challenges, highly recommended.”

Mellodie Gilbert-Walsh

“I have had a few downloads from Krystyna, most recently for confidence in my new role. The results as always are miraculous, it’s made such a huge difference to the way I work and my results.”

Carol Barker